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Loving Yourself Better

publication date: Aug 24, 2016

Loving yourself better


Most of everything we believe about ourselves is rooted within our upbringing. The way we feel and express love has a direct lineage to the people and environments we were raised in. How well we love ourselves is usually determined by the love we received and the love we witnessed, whether spoken or not. Our parents, or lack thereof, can be a determining factor in our sense of self-worth and what we believe we deserve from life. It can also be a determining factor in the amount of love we allow ourselves to share and/or receive, based upon the relationships we experienced or witnessed through the eyes of our younger selves.

We are also conditioned by society in regards to our sense of self-worth and what we are capable of being. This is easily seen through the media. Whether it is television, the Internet or social media, we are constantly set up in a comparative fashion to celebrities, status, attractiveness, occupation type, wealth, power, cars, labels on apparel, area code, etc. One of the great pitfalls in all of this is that most of the time we are comparing ourselves to the highlight reels of others. Meaning simply, what you see projected in the lives of others, more often than not, is not shared at face value. For example, you might witness what you perceive as the perfect mate in the outside world but in reality, behind closed doors, that very same person might be filled with incapacitating fear and anxiety on a daily basis. You might also witness someone who seemingly has it all, but is very depressed behind closed doors.

There are many examples that can contrast what you believe to be true. As the old saying goes, never judge a book by its cover. The storyline could really suck. And the truth is, if you listen to your past conditioning or the projection of the external world around you, you’ll never be capable of loving yourself better. You will always be operating from a mode of fear and not good enough… And those two energies can never occupy the same space as self-love.

The best of life is experienced when we learn how to love ourselves better. When we are free from self- judgment, doubt, insecurity and fear, we step into an alignment of self-acceptance and pure love. I realize this is easier said than done, but I also know that it is possible. With some mindfulness and regular practice, we can definitely learn how to love ourselves better and experience the best our life has to offer. The key is mindfulness. It’s about listening to your inner dialogue to see if it matches your heart’s desire. If your desire is to be peaceful and more loving to yourself, but your mind is critical and mean toward yourself, you are producing a conflicting goal; a conflicting message, if you will. You will never witness the alignment of self-love if you are continually bombarding yourself with mental dialogues of self-dissatisfaction; physical, mental or emotional.

It’s important that you recognize and embrace yourself for the unique individual that you were born to be. You were not born so that you can be like someone else… You were not born to look, act, mimic or be in any other form like someone else. You were born to be you… You were born to be your own unique expression of energy that has its own knowledge and wisdom to share with mankind. You are a unique manifestation unlike anyone else… as long as you choose to be. Developing the sense of worthiness requires you to release from all of your negative stories you’ve collected about yourself and see yourself with a fresh new mental image that includes love and acceptance. It’s about recognizing the beautiful light that you are and knowing that love is your true nature.

It’s about treating yourself like the child you would love. The child you would love and encourage regardless of where you believe you were in life. The child you would constantly build up and support, until they reached their desired goal. The child, who when learning to walk, would be celebrated and cheered upon with every new step, even if they fell 10,000 times prior. The child who is encouraged to be successful on any level, regardless of the numerous hindrances that life presents at times. It’s all about giving yourself a break and learning how to love yourself better.

It’s important to learn how to relax into life and let go of the unnecessary mental and societal chatter when learning how to love yourself better. It’s about releasing from things you cannot control and still knowing you will do the best you can regardless. Loving yourself better is about stepping away from the internal fight caused by overthinking and accepting life in the moment. It’s about knowing, and accepting that all things are exactly as they need to be in the moment. This doesn’t mean you need to ultimately settle for what the moment is offering. It simply means that the moment is in fact perfect; good, bad or indifferent.

Loving yourself better is settling into wisdom that all things are supposed to be different and there is no need to judge yourself against it. The current moment is simply reflecting a picture of what your past thoughts and beliefs about yourself have been. It doesn’t mean that it cannot be changed… It’s simply a view from the window to find out how well you have been loving yourself, as well as an opportunity to decide if you need to love yourself better. It’s about finding the gratitude of all things you witness and experience as being perfect for you now. It’s about knowing that your own path is your own unique journey and it doesn’t have to look like the path of others. It’s about accepting, in the “now”, your perceived benchmark for your life and deciding if you wanted to be different moving forward. The beauty of it all is that it can be changed whenever you decide you deserve better! Ultimately, when you decide to love yourself better you won’t have to concern yourself with change… you will already be there.


Dean Schaefer

The Healer Guy

www.ihelpyouheal.com    Twitter @thehealerguy     Thehealerguy88@gmail.com

To schedule a coaching or healing session, please visit my website or call, 805-889-1937

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